Wait, did she come here just to kill those three random guys and leave? That was weird. MONA? So you survived that gunshot to the head from the first game! And weren’t caught by the cops who stormed the building minutes later! Are we ever going to address how the hell you were able to do that? THREE OF THEM try to ESCAPE when suddenly MONA SAX steps out of the ELEVATOR and SHOOTS THEM. Of course, us nameless characters don’t tend to fare that well either. Second: is that name in the title of the game? Well let’s see, there’s a surefire formula for finding out whether you live to the end of this game. Hey, Max Payne is here! Maybe he’ll save me! It turns out to be VLAD’S ILLEGAL GUN WORKSHOP, where some HITMEN disguised as CLEANERS are about to KILL GUNSMITH ANNIE FINN. Shots fired in a warehouse there, acknowledge.Ī warehouse there? I know that address! That’s Vladimir Lem’s place! Okay, can we quit fucking around and tell this story in order now? Seriously guys, when people said these games could afford to be more non-linear, that’s not what they were talking about. NEW YORK - ACTUAL NO-FOOLING BEGINNING OF THE STORY By the way, double fooled you, this is like two-thirds of the way through the game! FLASHBACK AGAIN!ĮXT. Shouldn’t there be like doctors and patients and stuff? Seriously, this is some 28 Days Later shit right here.Ĭan it, Payne! I’m taking you down because you killed Detective Winterson! Loose cannon Internal Affairs breathing down neck give badge gun!īRAVURA is then SHOT REPEATEDLY by ANOTHER GOON. Say, where the hell is everybody? You’re the first non-assassin I've seen in this whole hospital. No, you're actually back on the force and I'm your chief, because why wouldn't I employ the mass murderer I painstakingly built a case against only for all of it to be thrown out thanks to some influential shadowy figure?įair deal. Are you trying to be effective this time by arresting me at the start of the game rather than the very end? Oh, you're the cop who was chasing me down during the previous game.
He FLEES down to the LOBBY where he finds POLICE CHIEF JIM BRAVURA waiting.
MAX runs randomly around THE HOSPITAL CORRIDORS until he encounters some ARMED GOONS.Īssassins! Say, why did your boss send a couple dozen gun-toting mercenaries in balaclavas to kill one unarmed guy lying bleeding in a hospital bed? Oh no, angst! Must run away from hospital bed for some reason! MAX passes out and wakes up later to PRETENTIOUS GUILT AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS. What? Guys, just give me some painkillers and I’ll be fine.
Oh shit, that’s me! Awesome, I don’t look like a ferret being electrocuted anymore!Ģ5CC OF LIDOCAINE! STAT! CLEAR! GAUZE! WE’RE LOSING HIM! By the way, fooled you, this is the end of the game! FLASHBACK!ĭETECTIVE MAX PAYNE is being wheeled in on a STRETCHER by THE DRAMATIC SHOUTY MEDIC SQUAD. Aha, so I didn’t die in the first game after all!
0 kommentar(er)
